Home

Its a strange condition in this society, and i see it blatently obvious in others as i suffer unusually much from it. The sense of home is almost impossible to find as we're rushed to not accept anything about ourselves or others. There is a sense of unease and sickness among us, running rampant and destroying our culture. The common ground is gone, even among families as we're all subjected to constant reminders of our own inadequacy. we're free alright. oh hell yes we're free in this country. we're free to believe what they tell us and to fall into the same patterns every fucking day. there isn't a single drop of salvation left in this fucking place, for the place it is. nature is simply a place to go when the city gets to be too much, a place to bitch about how dirty you are and how you can wait to get home to use your favorite over priced fucking lotion. yeah, you know it. you go camping, you stay in a shitty motel, you just can't wait to get home. old life is odd to us, we're so conditioned to fear everything, we're told that at every corner theres a murderer or rapist, if you ever do wrong the secret police will break into your house and drag you out screaming. So do we want this? or are we just content to roll with it? even in my own life i see my anxiety pushed to the limit where its hard for me to enjoy anything going on around me. so fuck this shit, i'd say we all just let go and quit fearing. but you can't. everywhere you look, everywhere you guy, consumerism is thrust by fear. fear of inadequacy, unacceptance, or actual safety. you can't help but feel it in a fucking crowd. you walk into the middle, and you're all restless, not feeling right.

Yeah well, guess what, i'm getting better, and its making me hate all this even more. i've been given gifts in life, streaks of luck, and a place whre i can feel truly alright and myself, so i can form these ideas. and no it isn't a physical house, its a mindset and a freedom to be MYSELF. so i hate to say it, but unless you can truly find a place to be yourself, you won't know what you're missing. so the next time you go to your friends or girlfriend or family, actually question. just wonder if you're holding back, or if you ever have to hold back, because you're afraid of the damage it would do if you opened your mouth. just a comment. just one word could fuck it all up, couldn't it? we all come home to our families, and sit down for that nice perfect dinner, silence, the neighbors tv too loud next door, in the street a drunken mother yelling at her children because she can't get off her ass and ruined her life, taking it out on her poor innocent children. you all see it every day.

And thats where people like dr phil come from. that fucking hack. he just grabs people, exploits their situations, and shows america a nice happy time, or a place where they can be happy they're not, even though often times the prison they create for themselves is just as bad if not worse. And here we have just the bane of human existence and the essence of this new america, the one of hollow rights. Yet more medication for your brain, to treat the symptoms but not hte cause. Did anyone ever think that self esteem issues may be a fucking symptom of something worse behind them? just maybe? oh of COURSE not. now i'm not saying that helping people with this is bad, but i am saying that maybe stopping them from finding out and searching for real problems is.

Now i don't mean to knock fear....fear is healthy and good, to a degree. but when you let it rule your life..fuck that. i may sound kind of preachy, but thats because of lovely anxiety i've had to deal with my whole life, and how i can see it affecting others. Sure, physical hazards like fear of being killed my animals, fear of that cliff in front of you, are fine. But look around. look at how many people are afraid of foreigners. its the same story everywhere. or teenagers. or groups of any kind. or anyone.other.than.them. though at best they're only ignorant to their fear of themselves. they just can't be upset. so they give up their dreams.